Efter mitt (förhoppningsvis allra allra) sista samtal med Rémi skickade jag honom ett sista mejl:

"You are right. I feel like I have wasted those 2 years of my life. Staying with someone who wasn't someone I wanted to be with to 100%, But I did. I tried to stay convinced that I wasn't with the wrong person even though I always somehow knew I was. We are NOT meant to be. We neve were. This is one of those life lessons everyone have to learn. You have learned and will learn a lot more from this.

I knew before I met you that I was an awesome person. Then you made me feel as if I wasn't. And yet I stayed for so long. Now you still make me feel like a bad person. Because all of a sudden you are someone good and understanding and I am the bad person, pushing you away. I hate how you make me feel about myself and I hate where I am right now. I am back at square one, in Paris, trying to figure out why I am here.

Since you are such a good person now, I wish you a long and spiritual life.

Don't mess it up."

(Och nej, jag är inte för hård mot honom, det var han själv som sade att jag har slösat bort två år av mitt liv på grund av honom)...